Video: Why Are Parents More Likely to Feel Shame?

Shame and guilt are ‘moral emotions’ are hardwired into parents to motivate them to keep kids close and safe and well, to ensure humankind’s survival. This means parents tend to feel shame and guilt more easily, even if there is no real need to.

And this proneness to shame means that parents can often feel judged by family members, by doctors and nurses and educators, by other parents, even in pretty ordinary situations. But it has been shown that communities do make use of these feelings by shaming parents or making them feel bad to get them to do better or to conform to expectations. 

And today's expectations are so high for parents, especially with parenting advice and information accessible 24 hours online and on social media. 

Parents today are expected to spend more time with their children, to intentionally help to grow a range of skills, to be calm and loving always, to have kids that are well-behaved and happy and healthy and at the same time to keep being good workers, good family members and good friends. Standards that are impossible to reach. And it's hard. It could feel like we're setting parents up to fail.