Let’s talk about
Shame & Parenthood
We don’t usually talk about shame.
As a group, parents feel more shame than others. And shame drives anger, defensiveness, fear and disconnect. Join me in building resilience to shame, so it doesn’t get in the way of us finding connection, compassion and joy with the ones we love the most.
- Dr. Angela Low
This website and videos are funded by the Public Scholar’s Initiative at the University of British Columbia (UBC), and the Edith Lando Foundation to mobilize Dr. Low’s research conducted at UBC.
Why parents?
Turns out, shame and guilt are evolutionary emotions wired into parents to keep kids safe and sound. On top of that, expectations are super high for today’s parents, with endless advice on the internet and ‘perfect’ families on social media telling they can do better. Parents may often feel like they are failing, even if they are not. And when we feel inadequate, even everyday situations can trigger shame and suffering.
Why do we need to talk about shame?
Shame is one of those intense and powerful emotions that, when triggered, puts us into fight or flight mode and can hijack our ability to think clearly and make good decisions. Watch to learn more.
The goal isn't to live a shame free life…
Or to create shame free environments. Because it's not possible. Shame is a moral emotion that is simply baked into the way that we're human. The goal, then, is to build resilience to shame. Watch to learn how!
If you work with parents… its helpful to know that shame is likely in the room too.
And as the more knowledgeable agents in the room, we may do things to trigger that shame… or we can help counter or reduce it. And shame affects whether parents tend towards us and the help that we are trying to provide, or turn away. Watch these videos to learn how.
